10:55PM

My favorite writing spot closes at 11PM and I usually get into a good rhythm at 10:55.

I’ll be long done with my tea, the crowd will have thinned out, and I will have overplayed whatever song I have chosen to write to, and the divine will pass through me and to my keyboard with 5 minutes left and the staff already cleaning the bathroom.

So I write as I pack to fool the staff into thinking I’m leaving and to fool myself into thinking that the staff actually buys the charade.

I’ll do the laptop dance where I stand up and start folding my power cable while typing between loops of the cord. When not typing I stare at the screen to proofread the last paragraph and make mental notes of what I want to write next.

Next, I do the stand and type. This makes the staff think I’m just making last minute adjustments…is what I say to myself as the staff gets more and more irritated that this guy bought a tea four hours ago and refuses to leave.

Oh did they announce that the cafe is closed? Twice? To me specifically? I can’t hear them over the headphones I’ve conveniently decided to turn the volume up on.

It’s already 11:01 as I get to the end of what I have so far (by this point they are, understandably, literally trying to sweep me out of the store), so I’ll just pick up my laptop and slowly close the clamshell as I type with one hand. I put my backpack on for extra effect, and also I look better with a backpack on anyhow. If I’m going to take up unwelcome space I should at least try to look decent doing so.

Finally, with a dull snap, I close my laptop and clean up the table. They’ve blacklisted me by the point. Or they would have blacklisted me by now if that was a thing.

Instead, I will be back next week to do it all again. Perhaps, this time I will choreograph new moves to keep the process going. Pehaps I should start tipping…